Tips for integrating into the local community in France
One of our basic human needs is to belong. Gaining a sense of place, connecting with people and developing friendships, according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is one of the most important requirements for people to feel motivated and happy.
So, how do you do this in a new country where you potentially don’t speak the language and you perhaps don’t know anyone? You may be leaving behind the place you grew up in, where you had strong friendship groups and family on hand, ready to start your new life in France. The question is where do you start trying to gain that sense of belonging that is so important for well-being and mental health?
It’s something I had to do over 16 years ago with my husband and one year old daughter. We decided to leave our home town, where we’d grown up, where all of our family and friends were to start a new life in France. With the house chosen and work established, we then set out about meeting people and embracing the French way of life. Here are our tried and tested ways of getting to know people and gaining a sense of belonging:
Get to know the locals
This is the first step towards starting to feel integrated and showing that you want to become part of the community. It could be that first smile and hello to a friendly face whilst out walking the dog, a brief exchange as you see each other in the village or inviting your neighbours over for an aperitif to introduce yourselves. Whichever way you choose to take that initial move, showing that you’re friendly, willing to make the effort, regardless or not of whether you speak the language, is really important.
Participate in local events
Most villages hold regular events throughout the year as a way of bringing people together and raising money for the local commune. When we first moved to France, our neighbours invited us along to all sorts of village get-togethers which we consistently went to. From moules-frites to paella evenings, and from summer barbecues to winter cassoulet - all delicious meals served in the local salle des fetes whilst listening to the local band. We found it was a great way to begin to build relationships with the people in our village, who evidently saw us as new people willing to embrace their way of life. Such events are often advertised on posters at the local town hall or around the village, on social media or in magazines at the local tourist office. From tea dances to organised hikes, bingo to bric à bracs, there’s certainly plenty going on whatever the season and whatever the size of the village.
Everyone loves a volunteer!
As time goes on and you get to know the locals, you can become part of the committee that helps to organise village events, or just simply offer to lend an extra pair of hands. Friends of ours who retired to France always help out at the local get-togethers, whether it is helping to serve drinks, wash the dishes or clear the tables. They are proud to be part of their community, and as such are welcomed with open arms. They make an effort to speak French, sometimes they are understood and sometimes they aren’t but they get by and are always willing to try.
Embrace French Traditions
Joining in events held for the national holidays is a good idea too, to show you understand and embrace French traditions. The main one being the fete nationale for Bastille day on the 14th July, where there may be an organised dinner, celebration and firework display. There is also always a memorial for Armistice Day on the 11th November, where villagers get together at the local town hall or cemetery to commemorate the signing of the Armistice. A wreath is often laid and the French flag is raised, and people join together with a drink to mark the event. Respecting these traditions and wanting to be part of them shows that you understand how significant they are to France’s history and people.
Join local clubs
Look out for local clubs and activities that interest you. Perhaps you enjoy sewing, playing rugby, or being part of a choral group? Whatever you enjoy, there will be a club for it in France and you will find these advertised in the local tourist office, local sports halls or Facebook groups. Sometimes, the most daunting step is approaching these clubs and getting started, but once you have you’ll soon be able to practise your skills and feel part of the club. I know someone who joined the local ping pong club about a year ago, and he regularly goes along to training and matches. Now at every local event we go to, he always has to stop and talk to his friends from ping pong. My husband does the same with all of his football club buddies too!
Take up a new hobby
Trying to integrate into a new environment is a great way to take yourself out of your comfort zone and think about trying new hobbies. Why not take up hiking? Maybe it’s time to learn to salsa? Perhaps you always wanted to improve your photography or art skills? The more open you are to trying new activities, the easier it will be to get to know new people. There are also French language lessons for all levels too, and this is a great commitment to showing you want to integrate as best as you can.
So why not give it a try? If you’re thinking of making the move to France, have recently moved or even visit regularly, there are lots of ways to integrate. You just need to go for it!
Case Studies
Many of my colleagues at Beaux Villages have made the move to France themselves and have worked hard to integrate into their community. Here are their stories:
Rachida Low, Property Consultant in the Charente and her husband David
I moved to France over 20 years ago with my husband having run a pub in England. We sold our business in the UK as we wanted a new challenge and I’ve worked in an estate agency ever since. I took a language degree at university so I am fluent in French, but David not so much. He gets by mainly because he loves talking to people and takes the time to chat as he is retired. He finds google translate a godsend! We found when we first moved over to France, having our dogs was a great icebreaker. We would walk them in the village, and people would often stop to talk to us and fuss over the dogs. We would then invite our neighbours over for an aperitif and find that the favour would be quickly returned. Now, we’ll dine at each other's houses on a regular basis. Over time, I’ve helped out with English lessons in the village too, and take part in yoga and pilates. I’m also now President of the Village Association and help to organise village functions. David often finds himself volunteered for the setting and clearing up! Recently, I’ve been asked to be on the village council, so have now become a French citizen to allow me to do so. For me, I think joining sports clubs where you’re with like-minded people is a great way to integrate, and helping out where you can at events is a way of giving something back.
Alice McCall-Judson and her husband Justin, both Independent Property Consultants in the Dordogne
I live in the North of the Dordogne with my husband, Justin, two little girls, who are 3 and 5 years old, and our various cats and chickens! We’ve lived here nearly five years now. We have great neighbours and that has helped France feel like home really quickly. If we need help or support in any way we can call on our neighbours or a wider network of people to come to the rescue - and it’s always nice being able to do that for others too. Having children has made integrating seamless as it happens so naturally when they first start going to school. You get to know everyone over time as it’s such a small community and I can never drive from A to B without waving at someone in the car, which I love! Justin is bi-lingual and I take lessons and have built my confidence by speaking to other French mum friends. As well as this, we frequent our boulangerie nearly every day and go to the weekly village market. Justin also signed up to volunteer as a pompier when we first arrived and so we got to know everyone through that. I’ve found that there are always clubs to join - from the choir, walking/cycling clubs or sports clubs. We’ve just joined the tennis club and are meeting even more new people through that which is such fun. If you're stuck for ideas, always ask your local Mairie or look at facebook groups too.
Jacqui Reddin-Williams, Independent Property Consultant in the Charente Maritime and her husband Maynard
I’ve lived in France for 29 years now, having moved over with my husband and two children who were 5 and 9 years old at the time. We wanted to give our children a simpler, more old fashioned childhood. I’ve always spoken pretty much fluent French but Maynard didn’t speak any. He learnt very fast how to speak fluent but very bad French! It isn’t about accuracy - it’s about making the effort and communicating. It was very important for me and for my family to integrate into the community and even now I still help newcomers get introduced to their neighbours. When we first moved over I gave free English lessons in exchange for help with French for my kids and that helped us get to know people quite quickly. French people think we drink tea every day at 4 o’clock so invite them for tea and they will invite you back for an apéro! For me, I also show dogs and volunteer at the local refuge and I think that is great for getting integrated - getting a hobby or becoming a volunteer. Volunteering is great as the focus isn’t about what you can’t do but what you can do to help others in your community. I would say, for others wanting to integrate just smile and say Bonjour - a smile is understood in every language!
Article written by Clare Rolt at Beaux Villages Immobilier for French Property News magazine. Published in in the January/February 2024 edition.
